TD Tower: 29th Floor, The Top Floor (Futura Corp.)

*1/2 (out of *****)

Excitement was high to venture to the top of Vancouver’s monolithic TD Tower. Naturally a party was formed for the excursion, and copious amounts of H²O were consumed in preparation. This not only adds obvious authenticity to the review but more critically prevents suspicion. I’d be quite alarmed to see a bunch of guys walk into a restroom together, looking around, make a few comments on the facilities and leave. You must complete the task at hand, or at the very least, pretend to.

So you’d think the top of the TD Tower would have the holy grail of restrooms, but alas, it does not. The disappointment was palpable. It wasn’t much different than my review of the 9^th floor; poor-quality tiles, sub-par cleanliness and advertising on the walls. The only redeeming quality is that it appeared to be the larger than usual. This may be explained however by the unusual arrangement of stalls and urinals that’s inconsistent with others in the building we’ve witnessed.

It should be noted that I’m not satisfied that we have actually been to the top floor of the TD Tower. Although the elevators only take you up to the 29th floor, upon departure I noticed on the floor’s directory an intriguing statement: “Stairs to the 30^th Floor”.

Clearly, further investigation is required.

- Rob